SPORTS...theBLOG: 2011

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Saturday, March 19, 2011

March Madness: Obama Pickin the Ladies?!

BUSTED!!! A nosy coworker just caught you red handed filling out a college basketball bracket- the number one office production killer of the spring. Immediately you are turned in and summoned to the boss's office to explain your wrongdoings and beg for forgiveness. You enter the man's lair and proceed to mumble your way through the pitiful defense that you're formulating on the fly. The blank stare on the boss's face does not bode well for you, and you prepare for the worst. In the minutes of silence proceeding your ramblings, you begin preparing an excuse to tell you wife & kids as to why you just got canned. After what feels like an eternity, your boss finally speaks, "So you really think Butler can survive Pitt's stingy defense?"

March Madness Bracketology 101 - You're Already A Loser

What's the point of filling out that March Madness bracket anyways? Sure you get to waste a few minutes of company time by writing down your genius selections, but in the end I guarantee you're going to lose! That $10 you invested in your effort to avoid working will undoubtedly be spent by one of your co-workers in the near future. It really does not matter how much research you do or how much ESPN College Gameday you watch, the big winner is going to end up being one of the following two people:

Cris Collinsworth Is On a Boat...and Almost Dies!!!

It's Monday! That means you just made it through another horrible day of putting up with your overweight boss, stale coffee, and "PC LOAD LETTER" error messages from your crappy HP printer, all while starting work one hour earlier thanks to daylight savings time. There really is no way to help you forget your miserable life, but maybe this little nugget of happiness will make it a little more bearable.

Roger Goodell, Making $1 & Still Overpaid

Roger "the Puppet" Goodell

FAILED! As commissioner of the NFL, Roger Goodell was unable to accomplish one of his main responsibilities, which is settling disputes between his employees. You have to give him some credit for staying relatively busy by cracking his whip on "important" issues like excessive celebrations & compulsive tweeting. Determining fine amounts and suspension lengths for these menacing acts that were ruining the league, has really left him no time to do much more at work.

Blake Griffin is pimpin!

Who doesn't love Blake Griffin? The guy is an unbelievable talent that produces basketball highlights on a nightly basis. In a few months, he will undoubtedly be the next NBA Rookie of the Year. Couple this award along with the 2011 Slam Dunk Championship and the 2009 John R. Wooden Award for the College Player of the Year, and it seems like the man can do anything. And by anything, I do mean just that....

Showdown in O-Town: Stern vs. Van Gundy!!!

Stan & Ron - Separated at birth, reunited on the "Hardwood."

Fans and sportswriters alike have been yearning for the individual rivalries that existed in the NBA of old. We used to have the contentious match ups between Magic and Bird, Jordan and Malone, and Russell versus Wilt, but anymore we are forced to try and manufacture these rivalries between the ever-friendly athletes in the sport. The fraternity-like brotherhood that exists between most of the NBA elite has really watered down the disdain that used to run prevalent on the court.

Tiger-Style: Woods Living Large, Playing Small

House on the beach, check. Elevator leading to a state-of-the-art gymnasium, yep. Golf course with a humidity control system installed underground in order to maintain optimum playing conditions, oh yeah. 16,000 SF of living space perfect for keeping your "friends" apart from your children when visiting on the weekends, without a doubt. Tiger Woods has built himself a palace in Jupiter Island, Florida that's fit for a king (and a pimp)!

Jim Tressel is a Bad Boy!

Jimmy is excited for his two week vacation!

GUILTY!!! It is official, Jim Tressel is not perfect and is going to jail. Well not exactly jail and I am not really certain that what he did is all that bad. What I do know is that he is going to be suspended for two games of the 2011 season. I find it hard to believe that the remaining Buckeyes will have troubles producing victories against powerhouse teams like Bryant & Stratton College or Cincinnati Christian University!

Douche of the Week: Feb. 27th - Mar. 5th

Big Baby striking a pose.

No matter how big of a loser you are, at least you are not one of the guys listed below in this weeks installment of Douche(s) of the Week.

Erik Spoelstra - As much as I like hearing about millionaire athletes literally crying about not getting their way, there's also a code about leaving team business behind closed doors. When you have mega-athletes like Lebron and Wade on your roster who are trying to "embrace" their roles as the NBA villains, you might want to reconsider painting them as soft (even if they are). While Erik might not be the only person to blame on the Heat for their popularity struggles, I think the outspoken Stan Van Gundy said it best:

Heat Check...Three Flamers Not Enough!

Open the Flood Gates: The Big Three can't hold it back anymore!

The Heat are good, just not that good. The Big Three are by far and away the most talented trio of players on a single team in the entire league, but it just doesn't seem to be enough. After suffering their 4th loss in a row at the hands of the Chicago Bulls (my pick to go to the finals from the East), it was reported that several of the Heat players broke into tears after being unable to handle the self-imposed pressure. This reaction could possibly have helped the Heat become #1 in something...Can you say Douches of the Week?

The NFL: Where $9,000,000,000 is Not Enought!

Michael Vick speaking on behalf of the NFL to the fans!

"What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." - Henny Youngman.

So you ask, is there anything worse than listening to a couple fighting about money? The answer is yes. How about having to listen to a handful of gazillionaires fighting over their share of 9 BILLION DOLLARS. During a time when your average football fan can barely afford the parking at their favorite teams' stadium, we have been subjected to a years worth of bickering over an amount of money that is unimaginable to us common folk.

The Worst Starting Line-Up Ever...Not WINNING!!!

So no reasonable person would expect anything positive out of the CAVS this year. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Personally, I feel that they have already overachieved as a team by winning 11 games and beating 2 of the NBA's elite clubs. But with the most recent injury to Antawn Jamison, this already horrible team has just gotten worse.

And the Winner of the Most Racist NBA Owner is....

Donald Sterling at seven months pregnant.

If you guessed Michael Jordan, you are incorrect my friend. Let me introduce the casual NBA fan to Mr. Donald Sterling, aka Donald Tokowitz, the compassionate owner of the Los Angeles Clippers. To go along with owning this NBA powerhouse, Donald is also a hot-shot divorce attorney and real estate mogul that is living the American dream!

So as you look at the above picture, you are forced to wonder how this 78 year old Don Johnson look-alike can be the most racist owner in the NBA (and possibly in all of sports)? Please review exhibit #1, his attempt at celebrating Black History month...in March!

Exhibit #1: Donald Sterling's Black History Month Party Invitation

On the surface this seems like a pretty nice gesture by Mr. Sterling, allowing 1000 children into a basketball game for free. But when you consider the fact that he is choosing to celebrate Black History month by only offering free admission to "UNDERPRIVILEGED" children, it causes you to take a step back and really question what he is saying with this "deal". Are the only underprivileged children black in his mind? Is Black History month in March? Does Blake Griffin really want to share the cover of a magazine with this guy?

Sure everyone is entitled to making a mistake if it's an isolated incident and they feel remorseful for the error, but in Donald Sterling's case, this seems like an ongoing trend. Here are a few other examples of his bigotry:

1) On November 15, 2005, the Associated Press reported that Sterling was ordered to pay $5 million in fees to a plaintiff's attorneys in a case accusing him of trying to drive out non-Korean tenants, particularly blacks and Latinos, at apartments he owned in Los Angeles' Koreantown neighborhood. (Wikipedia.org)

2) In February 2006, Sterling was sued by former longtime Clippers executive Elgin Baylor for employment discrimination on the basis of age and race. The lawsuit alleges Sterling told Baylor that he wanted to fill his team with "poor black boys from the South and a white head coach." (Wikipedia.org)

To accompany these examples, Mr. Sterling is also know for immaturely heckling his own players; most notably former Clipper, Baron Davis.

I would advise Donald Sterling hire a new PR team and think twice about promoting his ideas of celebrating cultural diversity in the future!

On a side note, if you don't hate reading these posts and are not a member of this site already, please remember to sign in at the upper left hand corner of the page. It's really easy to do and you can win $1,000,000 by joining. The prize money is tax free too! Good Luck!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Douche of the Week: Feb. 20th - 26th

Glen Davis doing Boston proud!

No matter how big of a loser you are, at least you are not one of the guys listed below in my first installment of Douche(s) of the Week. Each participant will be rated on a scale of 1 to 3 douches, with 3 being the douchiest. Lets begin:

Bryan Carrasco - Never heard of him? Well there is a good reason for that and it is because he plays the sport of soccer. While it is hard to imagine watching a sport who's games can end in 0-0 ties, here is another reason to not watch. Mr. Carrasco plays for the Chilean U20 soccer team and has an interesting strategy on how to get the ball. Not only does he flop to get the ref's whistle, but he takes the defenders arm and whacks himself across the face with it! Nice play soccer DOUCHE! Here is that play:

Miguel Cabrera - So you had a stressful week of figuring out how to spend the $20,000,000 you earned playing baseball last year and you decide go out for a drink. One drink turns into 15 or 20, and before you know it you are swigging on a bottle of scotch in your SUV on the side of a Florida highway with a handful of deputies outside your window. Miguel has had his issues before when it comes to drinking, but that didn't stop him from making a similar mistake roughly a year and a half later. For all the trouble that he has gotten himself into, he seems to be keeping a positive outlook on the situation as seen in his cheerful mugshot. You've got to hand it to this drunken DOUCHE for knowing how to party with the best of them!

Miguel Cabrera enjoying himself in the slammer!

Rip Hamilton - So you hate your boss and the company that you work for and all you want is to get out of your current job situation. There are millions of hard-working American citizens that are right there with you Rip and would love to sympathize with your struggles (I am using the term "struggles" very loosely, considering he is making 12.5 million dollars a year). Instead of appreciating all of your good fortune and just toughing out this rough stretch of your career, you go off on an expletive ridden tirade on your coach and leave the team. To go along with this, you also decided to nix a trade that would have gotten you out of Detroit and sent you to Cleveland, a paradise in comparison to the motor city. For this great decision I am giving you the title of DOUCHE OF THE WEEK!!!!! Congrats Richard!

I would like to thank the readers for following my blog and remind you to sign into my website (upper left hand corner of the page) and participate in the polls and comment on the articles. I would love to hear your input!

Saturday, February 26, 2011

2011 NBA Trade Deadline Madness!

With the NFL season all wrapped up and March Madness still a few weeks away, this typically means no excitement when in comes to sports this time of year. Most of the NBA games are still pretty meaningless on a day-to-day basis (with the playoffs still a few months away), so the insane amount of activity that occurred right before the trade deadline really injected some life into the sportsworld!!!

Usually the deadline comes with a lot of hype, but passes us with not much activity. Rumors start swirling in early December but usually don't amount to much more than just that. Due in large part to all the big name players switching teams this last summer, NBA franchises made more meaningful transactions than ever this past week! As a fan of the NBA, I don't see how anyone could have been disappointed with all the activity that occurred! Most of the rumored transactions happened, along with many more that we could not have imagined. Here is a summary of all the moves:

• Bobcats' Wallace goes to Trail Blazers
• Celtics send Daniels to Kings
• Rockets' Brooks traded to Suns
• Thunder trade for Nazr Mohammed
• Rockets' Battier traded for Thabeet
• Cavs get Erden, Harangody from Celtics
• Celtics trade Perkins to Thunder
• Clippers' Davis to Cavs for Williams and Moon
• Hawks ship Bibby to Wizards for Hinrich
• Warriors, Nets make trade for Murphy
• Hornets land Landry from Kings
• Deron Williams goes to New Jersey
• Carmelo Anthony to the Knicks
• James Johnson traded to Raptors

For a detailed breakdown on each of the trades listed above, check out this NBA Deals Page. This flurry of activity will drastically reshape the NBA landscape over the next half a decade. Many of these deals have provided teams will the arsenal needed to succeed immediately (Knicks & Thunder) and others the chips to rebuild for the future (Nets, Cavs, & Rockets).

I think that the Oklahoma Thunder made the most impactful deals that are going to help them more this year than any other team. By acquiring Kendrick Perkins and Nazr Mohammed right before the trade deadline, they gave themselves the interior defense to stop the Lakers and Spurs in the paint. I would not be surprised if the Thunder make it through the Western conference that has been weakened by trades. Assuming that the Thunder have enough time to assimilate the new players into their gameflow, they are my surprise pick to win the West and challenge the Chicago Bulls in the NBA Finals!!!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Lebron & Bosh Still Dealing the Pain!

The last year and a half in the NBA has been CRAZY!!! Now that Deron Williams and Carmelo Anthony have capped it all off with their trades in last 48 hours, we have witnessed a handful of elite players imposing their will on the David Stern and the rest of the league. Free agency, or at least the threat of free agency, has drastically reshaped the NBA's landscape, and maybe not for the better.

Teams have quickly learned from the free agency tornado that swept the nation in 2010, that once a superstar decides he's leaving, you have got to prepare your organization for life without them. Contrary to the comments made by Masai Ujiri, general manager of the Nuggets, Denver and Utah made out pretty well when considering the situation. Both teams had the opportunity to acquire current NBA-ready talent, building blocks for the future, and most importantly, salary cap relief. These teams have a real chance for both immediate and longterm success, unlike my favorite losers, the Cleveland Cavaliers!

The Cavs (and on a lesser level the Toronto Raptors) were blind-sided when "The King" left them high and dry on national television. While it is tough for me to respect the actions of Carmelo and Deron, at least they gave their former teams a fighting chance at some kind of future. The combination of poor decision making by Cleveland's front office and being repeatedly stabbed in the back by a secretive & self-centered Lebron James, has left them as the red headed stepchild of the NBA. So while it might be hard for the fans of the Nugs and Jazz to forgive Anthony and Williams right now, you have to give these guys some credit for not screwing their former fans out of any future hope!

Check out the decision:

Monday, February 21, 2011

Blake Griffin Can't Stop the Justin Bieber Express!

As a fan of both the NBA and unbelievably awesome music, this All-Star Weekend was a dream come true for the fans (the actual game was even mildly entertaining at times). We got to see the absolute raw power of one of the most talented, rising stars in all the world (that's right, Justin Bieber) and Blake Griffin.

With all the attention of the NBA world being focused on the Carmelo trade situation 24-7, it was a relief to have some fun & entertaining basketball related stories to discuss. Over the past couple of years, most of the pregame competitions have had the hype, but have not delivered a product worth watching in the end. While a few of the contests and entertainment still missed the mark (Haier Shooting Star Competition & the Far East Movement), the overall festivities received two thumbs up from me.

In an effort to attract a preteen, female audience to my site, I will briefly discuss the man of the minute, Justin Bieber. The MVP of the Celebrity Basketball Game put on quite a show, or DID he? The most valuable player of this game came from the losing team and sported a plus/minus of -10? For the people reading this that are strictly Bieber fans, that's like lip syncing the lyrics to Never Say Never in front of a stadium full of fans, you just don't do that! While I don't want to hate on the Biebs, my pick for MVP was Lil Romeo! Romeo led the double digit comeback in the 4th quarter but got Biebered out of the trophy. We all knew that Master P could ball, but now we know that the basketball gene runs deep in the Miller family!

Finally, the dunk competition rocked! All four contestants proved their worth, with Blake Griffin leading the charge in the end. I thought that the Serge Ibaka legit, free-throw line dunk was greatly under appreciated and that it was prearranged that Griffin and Javale McGee would be in the finals. And while a few of the dunks were a little gimmicky, the competition might finally be headed back in the right direction! Great job by all the contestants!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Dark-Rimmed Glasses: How To Be "Cool" Like LeBron

Professional athletes are so awesome. Let me repeat, they are really freakin cool!!! These guys have figured out how to increase their coolness factor ten-fold by adding a commonly overlooked accessory to their Rocawear wardrobe. That's right, it's the dark rimmed, non-prescription, constantly uneven glasses, baby! While millions of dollars, fancy sports cars, and mega-mansions used to prove that an athlete "made it", now all it takes is the same thing that prevented every nerd in high school from getting laid.

Just a few decades back, current coach and former NBA "superstar," Kurt Rambis began the early stages of this trend that few critics never thought would last.

While certain parts of this look have been modified or completely discarded (like the pornstache and mullet), the dark rimmed glasses have withstood the test of time! I always knew that there was something about Kurt's look that I wanted to make part of my own style, only I chose to rock the fem-mullet over the Urkel look.

I have to admit that in the above picture, D-Wade wears the glasses alright, in an annoying Gap ad kind of way.

But in this example, the glasses make Amare look like a complete and utter douche (although the NBA all star ticket offsets some of this, by proving that he has some money.)

While it is nearly impossible to become a professional athlete, we can all look like one by simply adding some dark-rimmed shades to our wardrobes. It's so easy, I expect everyone will be doing it by the end of 2011. Thanks LeBron for reviving this fashion trend and reminding us why we can't stand you anymore!

Check this out for some laughs:

Sunday, February 13, 2011

The CAVS Win Streak Has Reached 1!!!

Cleveland CAVS are #1!!!

The Cleveland Cavaliers have just started what I am predicting as the longest win streak that the NBA had ever seen. After the Cavs win tonight against the Wiz, they will only need 32 more wins to surpass the 1971-1972 Lakers for the most consecutive wins in a row, with 34. There are a few very important things that Cleveland has to do in order to attain this success:

     1) Acquire More Talent Immediately - Use that trade exemption to upgrade any and every position on the roster. I believe that only 3 or 4 healthy players on the current Cavs roster would ever have a chance to see the court on any other team (Jamison, Hickson, Mo, & Gibson). Upgrade immediately!

     2) Stop Sucking for 3 or More Quarters - Lack of talent contributes greatly to this.

     3) Continue to Play the NBA Bottom-Dwellers - Bring on the Wizards baby, on the road, 33 games in a row!

     4) Finish the 4th Quarter Strong - The final 5 minutes of any game that they are lucky enough to be in are usually disastrous! They have no finisher on the roster.

     5) Commit to Defense - You don't necessarily need talent to play defense (check, the Cavs meet this criteria) . The players need to buy into Byron's teachings and stop teams from scoring.

     6) Make the Draft Count - Cleveland's front office has to use their picks in the upcoming draft wisely. No self respecting free agents are coming to Cleveland, so choose wisely Dan Gilbert and Co.

If the Cavs really do win 34 games in a row (the streak would have to carry into next year), that would put their record at seasons end at 37 - 45. At current projections, they would still only be the 9th seed in the Eastern Conference, missing the playoffs and drafting around the12th spot! Good Luck Cavs.

Stop. That hurts!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Deron Implies No, So Sloans Gotta Go

"Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious vee of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes "Oh my god, I've had the old bull, now I want the young calf," and grabs me by the wiener..."

The sad reality of the NBA, whether it is spoken or not, is that these owners and organizations will do anything to retain or attain one of the mega-stars. The players may never have to "say" anything directly about who they want to coach or play along side, but even us poor and uninformed folk from the nosebleed sections can see the writing on the wall.

In the process of catering to the NBA elite, these teams have to carefully maneuver their way around the enormous egos that control these a-holes. Prime Example #1: Cleveland Cavaliers. If you give one player too much control and too much power, then the concept of team fails. It is impossible for an NBA organization to succeed in the long run if you cannot send 5 competent and coachable players on the hardwood at a time!

The Utah Jazz organization has got to be careful with how they handle the Deron Williams situation over the next year, or they may find themselves on the wrong end of the standings for the first time in a long time! Jerry Sloan meant more to their organization than any current player on their roster. Sloans shoe's are going to be tough to fill for the Utah Jazz!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Breaking News...Carmelo Trade Rumor #47,843! (this ones legit!!!)

As all the current NBA superstars continue their transition into forming the LBA (the Lebron Basketball Association consisting of only 4 NBA Jam-like teams), the latest Carmelo Anthony trade rumor has hit the world wide web. This rumor is probably not the one that most of you have heard but try and follow the sequence of activities that will land him with the New York Knickerbockers (along with another surprise):

First the Denver Nuggets will trade Carmelo and a protected 2015 second round pick to Phoenix for Vince Carter and an autographed Steve Nash jersey. Phoenix will in turn send Anthony to New Orleans for Okafor and David West. New Orleans will proceed to ship Chris Paul, Carmelo Anthony, and Sasha Pavlovic to the Cleveland Cavs for Anderson Varejao & Antawn Jamison, who will then send Paul & Carmelo to New York for Eddy Curry and Anthony Randolph and a first round pick. The real winners in this trade are the Cavs who reaquire Sasha Pavlovic and of course the Knicks who get both Chris Paul & Melo!

Donnie Walsh just confirmed the accuracy of this rumor and stated that this deal should be completed as soon as hell freezes over.

Stop Snitchin!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Friday, December 23, 2011

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Monday, December 19, 2011

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Friday, December 16, 2011

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Monday, December 12, 2011

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Friday, December 9, 2011

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Monday, December 5, 2011

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Friday, December 2, 2011

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Monday, November 28, 2011

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Friday, November 25, 2011

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Monday, November 21, 2011

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Friday, November 18, 2011

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Monday, November 14, 2011

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Friday, November 11, 2011

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Monday, November 7, 2011

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Saturday, November 5, 2011