Friday, February 11, 2011

Deron Implies No, So Sloans Gotta Go

"Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious vee of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes "Oh my god, I've had the old bull, now I want the young calf," and grabs me by the wiener..."
The sad reality of the NBA, whether it is spoken or not, is that these owners and organizations will do anything to retain or attain one of the mega-stars. The players may never have to "say" anything directly about who they want to coach or play along side, but even us poor and uninformed folk from the nosebleed sections can see the writing on the wall.

In the process of catering to the NBA elite, these teams have to carefully maneuver their way around the enormous egos that control these a-holes. Prime Example #1: Cleveland Cavaliers. If you give one player too much control and too much power, then the concept of team fails. It is impossible for an NBA organization to succeed in the long run if you cannot send 5 competent and coachable players on the hardwood at a time!

The Utah Jazz organization has got to be careful with how they handle the Deron Williams situation over the next year, or they may find themselves on the wrong end of the standings for the first time in a long time! Jerry Sloan meant more to their organization than any current player on their roster. Sloans shoe's are going to be tough to fill for the Utah Jazz!


Monday, February 7, 2011

Breaking News...Carmelo Trade Rumor #47,843! (this ones legit!!!)



As all the current NBA superstars continue their transition into forming the LBA (the Lebron Basketball Association consisting of only 4 NBA Jam-like teams), the latest Carmelo Anthony trade rumor has hit the world wide web. This rumor is probably not the one that most of you have heard but try and follow the sequence of activities that will land him with the New York Knickerbockers (along with another surprise):

First the Denver Nuggets will trade Carmelo and a protected 2015 second round pick to Phoenix for Vince Carter and an autographed Steve Nash jersey. Phoenix will in turn send Anthony to New Orleans for Okafor and David West. New Orleans will proceed to ship Chris Paul, Carmelo Anthony, and Sasha Pavlovic to the Cleveland Cavs for Anderson Varejao & Antawn Jamison, who will then send Paul & Carmelo to New York for Eddy Curry and Anthony Randolph and a first round pick. The real winners in this trade are the Cavs who reaquire Sasha Pavlovic and of course the Knicks who get both Chris Paul & Melo!

Donnie Walsh just confirmed the accuracy of this rumor and stated that this deal should be completed as soon as hell freezes over.





Sunday, February 6, 2011

Super Bowl 45: Christina's Excuse


Hurray Green Bay! Super Bowl 45 was a great success in regards to the game-play itself, everything else surrounding it was just "TURRIBLE"! A handful of fans had no seats to sit in at the stadium, the commercials couldn't end fast enough, & my idol SLASH got dragged into a halftime show that made my eyes bleed. And even before all this, our favorite and supposedly most talented Mickey Mouse Club member flubbed the easy lyrics to our National Anthem.

Now before everyone goes out and crucifies X-Tina for her mistake, I would like to float a theory of what I believe caused this issue. If you take a step back and carefully examine the situation, you would realize that Christina fits the mold of a certain athlete's perfect "lady friend"! She is an attractive woman, young but legal, and doesn't have that high of standards regarding who she's attracted too! I believe she might have been distracted by her fear of a possible encounter with a certain fun-loving, karaoke singing, gun slinger! I am not saying that I have any factual evidence that this was the case, but could you give me a better explanation? See my previous blog if you can't figure it out!

Anyways, congrats Green Bay and thank you for winning me some cash!

Big Ben is not a Raper!


On the eve of the greatest football game the Browns may never go to, it is hard for me to understand why people still question Ben Roethlisberger when it comes to his partying & womanizing ways! It is not Big Ben's fault that college chicks & casino hostesses alike fall head over heals for this charmer; and then try to capitalize later off their magical encounter (here is a picture of one of Big Ben's hotties). It should be apparent to everyone that this guy is a reformed man and model citizen?!?!? I mean the dude left a $200 tip (25% of his total bill) at Pete's Dueling Piano Bar and was "nice, fun and took care of everyone" according to TMZ (my preferred sports news website).

Putting his personal life aside, Big Ben has quite the track record when looking at his NFL accomplishments. He is only 28 years old and has already accomplished more in terms of the playoffs & championships than Peyton Manning, Dan Marino, & Jim Kelley combined. Ben's got the intangibles that can't be taught and is built like an ox.

With all this being said, I am still picking the Green Bay "Canned Meat Packers" to win Super Bowl 45. These two teams seem to be as evenly matched as they come. The Packers are on a roll and have been for the past 6 weeks (I am including the 4 point loss to the Patriots sans Aaron Rogers). They have the hottest QB in all of football and are finally showing some flashes of a run game. The Steelers do have the experience that Green Bay is lacking, but the overall team talent greatly favors the Packers. Once they are completely healthy, the Packers should dominate the NFL over the next few years!

My pick: Packers 24, Steelers 16