Michael Vick speaking on behalf of the NFL to the fans!
"What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." - Henny Youngman.
So you ask, is there anything worse than listening to a couple fighting about money? The answer is yes. How about having to listen to a handful of gazillionaires fighting over their share of 9 BILLION DOLLARS. During a time when your average football fan can barely afford the parking at their favorite teams' stadium, we have been subjected to a years worth of bickering over an amount of money that is unimaginable to us common folk.
So no reasonable person would expect anything positive out of the CAVS this year. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Personally, I feel that they have already overachieved as a team by winning 11 games and beating 2 of the NBA's elite clubs. But with the most recent injury to Antawn Jamison, this already horrible team has just gotten worse.
If you guessed Michael Jordan, you are incorrect my friend. Let me introduce the casual NBA fan to Mr. Donald Sterling, aka Donald Tokowitz, the compassionate owner of the Los Angeles Clippers. To go along with owning this NBA powerhouse, Donald is also a hot-shot divorce attorney and real estate mogul that is living the American dream!
So as you look at the above picture, you are forced to wonder how this 78 year old Don Johnson look-alike can be the most racist owner in the NBA (and possibly in all of sports)? Please review exhibit #1, his attempt at celebrating Black History month...in March!
Exhibit #1: Donald Sterling's Black History Month Party Invitation
On the surface this seems like a pretty nice gesture by Mr. Sterling, allowing 1000 children into a basketball game for free. But when you consider the fact that he is choosing to celebrate Black History month by only offering free admission to "UNDERPRIVILEGED" children, it causes you to take a step back and really question what he is saying with this "deal". Are the only underprivileged children black in his mind? Is Black History month in March? Does Blake Griffin really want to share the cover of a magazine with this guy?
Sure everyone is entitled to making a mistake if it's an isolated incident and they feel remorseful for the error, but in Donald Sterling's case, this seems like an ongoing trend. Here are a few other examples of his bigotry:
1) On November 15, 2005, the Associated Press reported that Sterling was ordered to pay $5 million in fees to a plaintiff's attorneys in a case accusing him of trying to drive out non-Korean tenants, particularly blacks and Latinos, at apartments he owned in Los Angeles' Koreantown neighborhood. (Wikipedia.org)
2) In February 2006, Sterling was sued by former longtime Clippers executive Elgin Baylor for employment discrimination on the basis of age and race. The lawsuit alleges Sterling told Baylor that he wanted to fill his team with "poor black boys from the South and a white head coach." (Wikipedia.org)
To accompany these examples, Mr. Sterling is also know for immaturely heckling his own players; most notably former Clipper, Baron Davis.
I would advise Donald Sterling hire a new PR team and think twice about promoting his ideas of celebrating cultural diversity in the future!
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No matter how big of a loser you are, at least you are not one of the guys listed below in my first installment of Douche(s) of the Week. Each participant will be rated on a scale of 1 to 3 douches, with 3 being the douchiest. Lets begin:
Bryan Carrasco - Never heard of him? Well there is a good reason for that and it is because he plays the sport of soccer. While it is hard to imagine watching a sport who's games can end in 0-0 ties, here is another reason to not watch. Mr. Carrasco plays for the Chilean U20 soccer team and has an interesting strategy on how to get the ball. Not only does he flop to get the ref's whistle, but he takes the defenders arm and whacks himself across the face with it! Nice play soccer DOUCHE! Here is that play:
Miguel Cabrera - So you had a stressful week of figuring out how to spend the $20,000,000 you earned playing baseball last year and you decide go out for a drink. One drink turns into 15 or 20, and before you know it you are swigging on a bottle of scotch in your SUV on the side of a Florida highway with a handful of deputies outside your window. Miguel has had his issues before when it comes to drinking, but that didn't stop him from making a similar mistake roughly a year and a half later. For all the trouble that he has gotten himself into, he seems to be keeping a positive outlook on the situation as seen in his cheerful mugshot. You've got to hand it to this drunken DOUCHE for knowing how to party with the best of them!
Miguel Cabrera enjoying himself in the slammer!
Rip Hamilton - So you hate your boss and the company that you work for and all you want is to get out of your current job situation. There are millions of hard-working American citizens that are right there with you Rip and would love to sympathize with your struggles (I am using the term "struggles" very loosely, considering he is making 12.5 million dollars a year). Instead of appreciating all of your good fortune and just toughing out this rough stretch of your career, you go off on an expletive ridden tirade on your coach and leave the team. To go along with this, you also decided to nix a trade that would have gotten you out of Detroit and sent you to Cleveland, a paradise in comparison to the motor city. For this great decision I am giving you the title of DOUCHE OF THE WEEK!!!!! Congrats Richard!
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