Thursday, March 10, 2011

Showdown in O-Town: Stern vs. Van Gundy!!!

Stan & Ron - Separated at birth, reunited on the "Hardwood."
Fans and sportswriters alike have been yearning for the individual rivalries that existed in the NBA of old. We used to have the contentious match ups between Magic and Bird,  Jordan and Malone, and Russell versus Wilt, but anymore we are forced to try and manufacture these rivalries between the ever-friendly athletes in the sport. The fraternity-like brotherhood that exists between most of the NBA elite has really watered down the disdain that used to run prevalent on the court.

Santa Stern
Well everybody fasten your seat belts, because a battle is a-brewing between two of the most intimidating forces in the NBA today. Nothing says the National Basketball Association like two rich, overweight, old white men that look to have zero athletic ability between the both of them.

In an effort to protect his 7 foot tall, 265 lb helpless center Dwight Howard, Stan Van Gundy (Orlando Magic head coach) has directed numerous angry remarks at the commissioner of the league, Mr. David Stern. In his latest rant against "the man," Van Gundy said the following:
"This is the system David Stern and his minions like, so that's the system you have. ... I certainly can't have an opinion because David Stern, like a lot of leaders we've seen in this world lately, don't really tolerate other people's opinion or free speech or anything. So I'm not really allowed to have an opinion. So it's up to him."
The commissioner did not take this criticism very well and responded with the proverbial pimp slap that we all saw coming. Stern reported that Van Gundy will not make the same mistake ever again.
"I would render a guess ... that we won't be hearing from him (Stan) for the rest of the season. When he stops and reads what he said and realizes what he did, he will say no more."
The war that Lebron tweeted about last week has begun, so throw on your sports coat and enjoy the ride! Will Stern's latest threat quiet the outspoken Ron Jeremy look-a-like that roams the sidelines in Orlando?

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